Friday, November 26, 2010

“Counting sheep is boring…one Playmate, two Playmates, three…” Juan



Attention female writers: If you need advice on how to write in the male point of view look no further than the above quote.

Even though my wonderfully Peruvian instructor reads/writes poetry, says that East of Eden reminds him of Thanksgiving and writes things on Facebook like, “When I’m with you, there is a million dances but not enough songs.” and “Fingerprints that you left in my soul.” (not to or about me –lol- just wanted to make that clear) – it all comes down to the above quote which yes he really did post as his status update on Facebook.

Men like sex. Men think about sex. All the time.

What else do you need to know? -How to decode what men say.
For instance below are the results from a Men’s Health magazine survey that asked men to list of The Top 5 Qualities Men Want in a Wife.

And as a public service to women writers I will decode the list – what they are really thinking in the parenthesis.

1. Financial Savvy (- will not spend more than $100 on a single item of clothing – including shoes and handbags)

2. Independent (- has her own stuff going on so she won’t notice if I go out with the guys for a beer)

3. Intelligent (- knows not to walk in front of the TV or talk during a game)

4. Loyal (- will not disclosed embarrassing info about him to her girlfriends/family)

5. Sexually Adventurous (-will have sex more than once a week)

So there you have it – men decoded.

Oh and I’ve already told Juan I’m stealing his Facebook status for my book. Definitely sounds like something Russ would say.

13 comments:

Taryn Kincaid said...

This is hilarious! Great translation, Liz!

I LOVE writing from the male POV. Language is generally more realistic.

'Course, I have to describe HIM and his kisses and his, ahem, artistry and technique from HERs.

Liz said...

Thank You! I was inspired!
Please re-tweet it if you can.

Allie Boniface said...

Hahaha...just what Juan needs - something else to feed his ego! Nice post :)

JL Walters said...

Cute post. Love the translation. I think I heard it somewhere that men think of sex five minutes out of six.

Charmaine said...

Funny and true. Thanks for the delightful post.

Shoshanna Evers said...

Perfect decoding, Liz!

Wendy S Marcus said...

Great post, Liz! And sooooo true!

heatherthurmeier said...

Great post!

Jenna Kernan said...

The translation of Intelligent made me laugh out loud. Very funny, Liz!

Liz said...

Thanks for stopping by everyone. Glad you enjoyed it!

Gianna Simone said...

Great list - and so very true! Love it. Thanks!

Yolanda said...

OMG. too funny! And having the pleasure of a zumba class (I must go back!!) I can picture him saying this ...

Jennifer Probst said...

Liz, I absolutely love this post - I laughed out loud and agreed the whole time. Very important to know when we are writing.